Wizard

John’s sojourn to “Wizard” begins one evening at a friend’s home 40 years ago. It is a sudden paradigm shift that completely changes his outlook on life. A direct Self realization happened while glancing through a book called, “Be Here Now” by Ram Dass. It all happened so spontaneously. The sense of identity in the middle of the head gives way to a stream of internal light, then to space, then to sound and from sound to a state of total egoic absence. The unknowable. He implodes. John later learns that the formal term used in Hindu philosophy for this experience is Nirvikalpa Samadhi. John intuits the event as a Darshan from Neem Karoli Baba.

Upon resuming the body vision, he senses his essential outlook has turned “inside out”. A local “I” is no longer present. Upon returning to the room, his first eye contact is with a small girl on the couch. When his eyes meet hers, he realizes he is looking at his non-local Self. Not like a reflection in a mirror but rather like a seamless continuum or substratum. All form is transparent. Everything simply appears and disappears in this Self; including the entire universe.

John is stunned by this recognition and has not the communication skills or vocabulary to share it. He simply refers to it as “turning inside out”.

This event is followed with several months of affirmation by his spiritual friends and his father in law, who was a Babtist minister, Milan Gowing. Later there is a chance meeting with a Shaman-like elder in Jamaica. Jamesy-Man, as this Rastaman is called, is the first person who truly shares a mutual inside-out paradigm with John. This is a Darshan of profound affirmation. Jamesy becomes John’s spiritual God father without any fanfare. He refers to their mutual outlook as “I & I… One Love”. An afirmation by grace.

The meeting in the Rasta camp is cut short by synchronistic events. Jamesy mentions to John that he will be returning to Jamaica and for him to follow the path from that camp to a camp on top of a mountain on the horizon. He points to the path at their feet and then to a mountain ridge on the horizon. He says, “I & I will meet there.”

When John returns home, his domestic storyline unravels and completely falls apart. Wife, child, friends, business… all gone. Within a few months he spends his last few dollars on a backpack and plane ticket to Jamaica. He leaves everything else behind; his whole storyline. He arrives at Jamesy’s camp after a very strenuous hike to the mountain top that Jamesy had pointed to. John finds Jamesy is expecting him and welcomes him to the camp. He takes John to show him his “gate” or hut overlooking the Caribbean Sea that he had just finished for John. John settles in for the winter to be with Jamesy.

Jamesy is a genuine wild man in every way. In the camp, there are no roads, vehicles, phones, running water, grooming or mirrors. Money is not used. No schedules, books, names of days or months, no watches. Only natural rhythms. Jamesy’s mantra is always “I & I One Love.” He is illiterate but most wise. Others found themselves there, also, with similar stories of synchronicity and natural cohesion.

When John awakes in the morning, he notices Jamesy returning from the bush with a string bag bulging with wild yams, wild fruit, wild vegetables and herbs and coconuts. He has a new variety every day to feed everyone around him. John’s conventional time paradigm slowly melts away into a simple “Now”. It is timeless. Everyone enjoys the simple good company of Jamesy and his presence.

One morning, a friend leaves the camp to see a young guru in America. A small group is gossiping about it in John’s “Gate” or hut when Jamesy shows up and starts sharing a story. In an animated and playful way, he shares this simple insightful story:

“There was once a puppy-dog who wanted so much to have his own bone. It is all the puppy can think about.” Jamesy is ransacking the hut “looking for a bone”. Then he notices a stick on the floor and quickly grabs it in his mouth. “Puppy is happy now. Puppy has bone. Puppy struts proudly. Puppy struts to a still pool in the nearby stream. Upon seeing his reflection andwith the bone, he spontaneously goes for the bone in the reflection, forgetting the bone already in his mouth… and drops the bone in the puddle. Puppy lost bone! Puppy is not happy now.” Jamesy starts the search again and eventually once again finds the stick (bone). “Puppy is again happy but wiser!”

“Puppy firmly has bone. Puppy returns to the same still pool and once again peers in” as Jamesy cocks his head looking at the pretend pool while telling the story. “Puppy now understands puppy already has bone and bites into it with conviction.” Jamesy swiftly departs the small group and allows them to ponder the tale. A tale that would follow John for years.

Slowly the line between “Zion” and “Babylon” melt as John yearns to share with his family and friends. Winter is over and John takes leave of Jamesy and returns home to North Carolina. He becomes a devotee of Swami Muktananda who initiates him with full blown yogic Shaktipat. John takes a seven year walk on the yellow brick road with all the mysticism and visions unfolding; exhausting his tendency to have “spiritual experiences”. John spends a good bit of time in Muktananda’s company.

On Muktananda’s last evening in America, upper New York state, John and a friend visit the Mystic Swami. John has brought the Wizard’s hat as a gift for Muktananda, knowing he likes hats and that Muktananda is the true Wizard. John approaches Muktananda and goes blank while the swami places the Wizard’s hat on John’s head and blesses him. John goes into a swoon. This Darshan is different. There was absolutely nothing! Nothing happened. Nothing to remember. John resumes bodily awareness across the room with the hat on the floor beside him under a statue of Ganesa pouring riches out in blessing. Roberta Flack, who had just dedicated and sung “Killing Me Softly” with her band to the swami, walks over to John and says, “Put that hat back on. The Master put it on your head and you are to wear it!” The next day, Muktananda returns to India and then after telling the staff to prepare for a large gathering, goes to his bed, pulls the sheet over his head and drops the body.

Next, John meets the high Mayan priest, Yum, in the bush country of the Yucatan. The synchronicity moves forward. They are led to Yum against so many odds. Yum, like other wise people, affirms, again, John’s radical understanding. Many are the meetings with other similar people who share the same outlook. Those that are awakened out of the mortal dream of carnal beings, all affirming the inside-out paradigm. Some are known; many unknown.

Then John discovers a text called “Talks” about Ramana Maharshi’s conversations with those who sought his company in India. It was in a book store in San Francisco. In this text, there is self evidence of turning inside-out in all the relationships. Ramana Maharshi’s message becomes an intellectual tool to keep an open and peaceful mind. The conversations recorded in the manuscript struck the deep chord of Truth. It was a perfect mirror. This text of “Talks” becomes the essential writing that John repeatedly returns to for helpaffirmation, intellectually, in establishing an enlightened outlook.

John starts a new business with his refreshed outlook. It is developing and bottling organic condiments and dressings and becomes, “The Wizard’s Cauldron.” The name came from an I-Ching throwing that twice came up as Ting, The Cauldron. It is a fulfilling and successful livelihood. The natural food trade comes to know of John as Wizard, like his friends at home. The business had its ups and downs. Then, twenty years as an ecopreneur and John is once again drawn to Jamesy in Jamaica. John travels with his family to see Jamesy. Synchronicity is everywhere… Jamesy joins in as the family is walking in the bush country. This meeting is deep and peaceful. This time his camp is full of people. It is the Ethiopian New Year and the musicians are all coming to celebrate with Jamesy. John is humbled by Jamesy’s peace. His mind becomes strangely quiet without effort. After a few very precious moments with Jamesy, John is left speechless.

Shortly after returning from Jamaica, John meets a classical Indian musician, K. Sridhar. He plays a rare Indian instrument, the Sarod, and tours the world and had come to America for the first time. Sridhar is quick witted but never attended school like Jamesy. He speaks several languages and he is a true Nada (sound) Yogi. Sridhar recognizes signs upon his first visit with John that his guru had counseled him to look for. Sridhar and John become very sincere spiritual friends. Sridhar speaks about the Upanishads and its meaning, “knee of listening.” Sridhar becomes that knee of listening for John, literally. He reinforces the story from Jamesy about dropping the bone. He is Toto (from the Wizard of Oz) for the Wizard and keeps pulling the curtain back open.

On a subsequent visit, Sridhar’s Guru in the Himalayas suggests that he might invite John to India for a month and stipulates the itinerary. John accepts the invitation in full faith. The sojourn begins in Bombay visiting the ashrams of the deceased Muktananda and Nityananda. Then it is off to Lucknow and a meeting with Papaji prior to his dropping the body. There is an awareness of a growing tendency towards deification in all these seekers’ havens. A budding religion business.

After the meeting and Darshan with Papaji, the troupre secures a car and driver and set off to the ancient and sacred city of Benares on the Ganges River. They arrive at sunset. Sridhar leaves John in the car while he makes his way through the mystic maze to find their room and to get help with luggage. While waiting in the car for Sridhar to return, an Indian gentleman approaches. The gentleman looks just like the pictures that John has seen of Ramana Maharshi, who dropped his body in 1950. John gets out of the car. The Indian gentleman, with walking stick in hand, strikes several postures and remains comfortably still in each pose. John is awe struck and fixated. Is he hallucinating?

Sridhar returns with help for luggage. John turns around to notice Sridhar who is waving to get his attention and when he looks back for the Indian gentleman, there is no one there. The sky is a classic red Indian sunset. Candle pujas are floating along with the river. John is suddenly on the E side of E=MC2. All perception is just a light show. There is no noun left to identify with as his sense of being is standing at formless infinity.

They quickly and gracefully make their way to their room on the Ganges next to the cremation grounds. All is unfolding exquisite perfection. Synchronicity is driving events. Mortality is missing. Doership is missing. Sridhar leaves John for the rest of the evening. John is left with his awakeness for the night. The following morning, Sridhar returns to their accommodations. He acknowledges John’s Darshan with Ramana Maharshi and instructs John to go to the Ganges to meet a priest there at the edge of the Sacred Ganges. The priest instructs John to take three dips in the river and then asks him to sit on a bamboo mat while the he applies “Tiki” to his forehead while chanting Vedic chants. The rest of the day is spent in bliss with Sridhar and their traveling companion, Paula.

The final leg of the India sojourn takes them to southern India and the Ashram of Ramana Maharshi at the foot of a sacred mountain called Arunachala. Upon arriving, the troupe is taken to the dining hall and graciously fed. The campus is very peaceful. No loudspeakers, no rules, no religion business. There is nothing to join and no belief system to follow. When they are taken to their accommodations, John is stunned again. On the wall in the room is a picture of Ramana Maharshi as he had appeared in Benares. Here, again, it is effortless for the mind to be quiet.

John returns home, profoundly reaffirmed. John then returns to Jamaica to visit Jamesy and shares with Jamesy about his trip to India. On departing from Jamesy’s camp, Jamesy offers John a calabash bowl. John returns to his rented bungalow on the western cliffs of Jamaica with his family. It has been a dry season and water is scarce. Dark clouds start rolling in and a tropical storm lets loose with lightening everywhere. John removes his clothes to have a shower in the tropical rain. On the way out, he grabs the calabash bowl. After his shower, John takes the bowl in outreached hands to collect rain water to drink. He begins to hallucinate that the bowl is changing into a female breast from which he drinks. As he is putting the bowl aside, it changes into a large green jade egg before returning to a simple bowl.

Back inside the bungalow, he stands, transfixed, gazing at the dark horizon over the ocean as a great storm and lightening is raging within the profound stillness of One~Self. The communion with Jamesy and ALL is so deep and still where all are One Love. Rain leaked through the roof dripping on John’s head as he was annointed and baptized, dead to the body idea, and resurrected as that great host of everything and everyone; and it all seemed ordinary to him.

All the shamans, teachers, authors and gurus are affirming the same Truth of peaceful non physical existence to John. All are a part of the Masterpiece mosaic. All are mirrors and coaching John to not drop the “bone” of realization. To be more firmly established in the Truth of being the state of, not just the statement; I Am.

A year later, Jamesy drops his body without any fanfare. A folk fellowship gathers to honor his presence at John’s abode. Jamesy was the silent and still One. The communion, absolute.

The Wizard was putting together a succession strategy as his bisiness grew when he encountered yet another chance meeting. It was in North carolina at AHAM, a medition center near Asheboro. Ganesan was the grand nephew of Ramana Maharshi. This was to be the final chapter in John’s sojourn.

Upon meeting, they recognized one another. Ganesan was skilled, educated, articulate, bright, alert, peaceful and responsive. His traveling mate, Anuradha was likewise responsive. Both were very curious about my relationship with Jamesy and offered great respect for him. He drew a lot of comparisons with his great uncle, Ramana Maharshi, and stated them publically in North Carolina as well as in India at his shared talks on his veranda.

Ganesan had grown up until the age of fourteen, in the presence of Ramana Maharshi. After the death of the Maharshi in 1950, Ganesan went on to get a master’s degree in philosophy. Then he returned for good to the ashram at Tiruvannamalai. His guru, Mother Krishna Bai, had given him his sadhana along with a note of caution. The first was to find and to look after the old devotees of Ramana Maharshi as his spiritual practice. To bring them back to Ramanashram. As a result, he was able to absorb very personal and human reminiscences of Ramana Maharshi. In addition to this, close contacts with other avant-garde sages like Nisargadatta Maharaj and J. Krishnamurti help him to deepen his understanding of the essence of the Maharshi’s teaching of Self Inquiry. 

The second was a caution of the “golden chain” of being a relative of Ramana Maharshi who had gained so much recognition and fame. Guru Bai pointed out that Ganesan’s sadhana would be much more difficult because of the genealogy link with his grand uncle. That he would need to “earn” his own realization. 

For five years Ganesan and John took many trips together in India and America. They spent much shared time traveling in North carolina  and hanging out at the Wizard’s abode in Cedar Grove plus time at AHAM attending his sharings as well as sharings at AHAM in India. This was John’s introduction to A. Ramana, as well, another avant-garde sage. They played in the ocean in Kerala, wandered the woods in western North Carolina, and even went on a cruise together to Bermuda. They were best of friends. Ganesan and his attendant, Anuradha, shared many, many deep conversations about the human side of the life of Ramana Maharshi. They all had much fun together and laughed a lot. Both Ganesan and Anuradha introduced the Wizard to many of the old devotees and sages in India where they shared good company. John and Ganesan walked hand in hand.

This precious intimate sharing with Ganesan enhanced the Wizard’s insight along with the intellectual skills helpful in the expression of his own insights. Ganesan was truly a Wizard’s friend. 

The time and stories shared together along with stories shared at AHAM under the title of Rock and Boulders of Arunachala eventually were all brought together as a sharing to be shared in the west called The Human Gospel of Ramana Maharshi, a suggestion by John when Ganesan was apprehensive about the censoring he imagined might occur if AHAM or Ramanashram did any of the publishing. John also later suggested using a portrait he had purchased from Wendel Field for his son, David, as a cover. The Human Gospel of Ramana Maharshi required extensive editing in Chicago style western English to create an interpretation as a new western version of all the stories and sharings that Ganesan shared with the Wizard in so many different ways. It was meant to be a cross cultural sharing with difficult translation points around obscure cultural nuances. 

The unique aspect of the sharings was that this revered sage, Ramana Maharshi, was an extraordinarily ordinary human being! The curtain was pulled back just as in the Wizard of Oz, divesting the sage of carnal power, idolatry and deification and further affirming a true equality of vision; Love. This was not to undermine the true veneration of a great sage, but to reveal the simplicity which was the human greatness of the avant-garde sage. Ganesan was initially enthused at the Wizard’s opportunity to share this interpretation in the “western” world in “western” nomenclature with complete trust. It was Ganesan’s heart’s desire to share this simple and beautiful truth, although he had some lingering fear of the repercussions from those who deified the Maharshi with superstitious idolatry which Ganesan openly disclosed at the conclusion of their time together. John was informed that there were many superstitions in the Indian culture that he still did not comprehend. 

There were others in India and elsewhere that absolutely did not want that curtain pulled back by the Wizard to reveal the true ordinary man who was a genuine sage. This led to a conflict, a confrontation of Dharma, which occurred over its disclosure. It seemed unfortunate but it is within divine providence, as that confession of being human as well as the transcendent being is the key to true empowerment and love. The arrow had left the bow and the cornerstone agreement for John and Ganesan was to not retrieve it after the arrow left the bow. This was the primary heart agreement upon putting it all together as The Human Gospel of Ramana Maharshi. The Wizard moved forward in good faith and synchronicity until finished and the creation was very synchronistic and remains so. The project deepened John’s insights about the sage, Ramana Maharshi, and his human side. The very last vestiges of John’s own tendency to deify were slowly dissolved in true sacred communion of equality. 

The sharings were destined to be shared as Ganesan so gracefully shared what was shared with him. The Wizard was certain that the human confession divests political power structures and restores Love; it affirms Truth for ordinary human beings and brings Truth into the reach of everyone. Humanity simply did not need another messiah from on high. Sages like Ramana Maharshi, openly confessed, were sharing this good news. Many more followed in the Maharshi’s footsteps. He was an avant-garde sage. 

John had no doubt lessons arewere at play in every action until there is only a benign play of consciousness. He knew the carnal outlook and religion business well and saw “god squads” ever at work around the well of being, each claiming the ground of being as their own. Without true insight, cults tended to set up hierarchal political power structures with somewhat good but blind intentions. The Wizard had learned firsthand how the perception of inequality holds an aspirant in subjugation and robs Love every time. Power and fear were first cousins in this paradigm. Control was most always the primary symptom. The paradigm had no heart; it was insentient. Jamesy, Muktananda, Sridhar, Ramana Maharshi and even Ganesan along with many more wise sages had driven that point of affirmation home to the Wizard and he was never to return to the hierarchal paradigm of idolatry and deification and their inherent belief systems as true spiritual life except in exhausting those tendencies of otherness as a remedy for a divisive or carnal outlook. He was free of the ownership of any religion or messiah and free of the death of form. Any form of divinity observed was only in the eye of the beholder and was just a play of consciousness to be ultimately released as the Maharshi, himself, so well expressed. 

Avoidance of relationship was the first sign for John that there was a seemingly difference with his most dear friend, Ganesan; a confrontation of Dharma, as every action was perfect. No blame, just tough lessons unfolding. Maybe it was simply a weaning; maybe a Mystery with no rhyme or reason. The trials and tests became larger than life as the pontification, attempted cover-up and censorship of what was freely shared grew in desperation. Communications became the antithesis of the former affirmations from Ganesan that had served John so well and still do. John watched it happening and viewed it as a final inspection to not drop the “bone” in the pool of reflection! He neither reacted or doubted.

The insight of deification robbing genuine Love was exquisitely revealed and affirmed first hand as antiquated cultic measures were revealed and employed to intimidate John into the submission of the deification of the revered sage, Ramana Maharshi, as a messiah by his very family. The cat was already out of the bag. The Maharshi, himself, had let that cat out of the bag. John’s conviction to remain as the Self reigned and the “bone” Jamesy spoke of, decades before, gracefully held steady as he peered into the still pool and, with total compassion and empathy for Ganesan and his circumstance with friends and family in India, understood the reflection as such. The bone remained as IS, well established. The journey of chasing any reflection was clearly over. There was no messiah; just reflections. He understood that we are all only ordinary; that we are blessed with true avant-garde sages that confess this with honesty and receive due veneration, not needing deification. That is all. No more need to chase mirages of one’s own making. The substratum remained peaceful for John. Everything was still unfolding as it should. The true journey of Mystery unfolding in absolute stillness had begun as the carnal journey was over

Now John is retired. He prizes free speech, unencumbered, as a human right. He no longer publishes any books for sale by publishers. He shares his stories and what was shared with him, uncensored, for free on the radio, his website and in person at gatherings. This sharing and other sharings are offered free in the spirit of sharing as many of the genuine mentors shared freely with him during his blessed sojourn. His sharings are for affirmation, not pontification or deification. John accepts no money for any communication, counsel or fellowship. 

He also co-hosts a cybercast radio program on WCOM with his friend, Trip Overholt, called Conversations with Avant-garde Sages, and facilitates various gatherings and satsang. 

The Wizard currently abides in the forest in Cedar Grove, North Carolina with his dear wife of 35 years, Carol, and their three kitties.  

Now, just like Dorothy finally discovered in The Wizard of Oz, John dwells only in the ordinary with equality of vision. This is the gift of human love. The Wizard is real but still just an ordinary rascal. He is certainly not a saint.

“The appearance of god will happen inside us only. It is not something external to your internal force. When the mind is turned towards inside, then God will appear as pure consciousness for you. The vision of God happens in mind only. In what form that God will come into sight depends on one’s perception of mind only. Anyhow, it is not the ultimate stage. In that state, still the duality is there. It is just like seeing God in dream. After the appearance of God, the inquiry starts within and it will lead to experiencing the power of true Self. The final destination is self inquiry only.” ~Sri Ramana Maharshi~